Radical Candor, by Kim Scott is a book I’ve been aware of for a while but haven’t actually got around to reading.
I was expecting lots of information about giving feedback but I was pleasantly surprised that there was a lot more in there than that.
Scott discusses that to be great leaders and team members we must both care personally and challenge directly. Without these two qualities we fall into one of three other quadrants.
People who care but don’t challenge fall into Ruinous Empathy. These are the people who won’t tell a friend that they’re unzipped because they’re afraid of the conversation. They’d rather let their friend continue to embaress themselves rather than push themselves out of their comfort zone.
People who don’t care personally are split into one of two categories. If they do challenge but don’t do it with someone elses best interests at heart then they display obnoxious agression. Or, simply put are just jerks. If they don’t challenge then they see what they could do to improve and don’t do anything to help them. This is manimulative insincerity.
Scott teaches us that we must always strive to give direct feedback to people we work with because we care about their success and their feelings. She also discusses lots of ways to do that.
I’d been expecting much of this content before I started the book but what delighted me was the actionable advice on how to go about this. I want you to read (or listen) to the book so I won’t give it all away here (plus, you know, plagurism). Suffice it to say that if you do now feel you should give feedback there are lots of tips in there to help.
But this is just for managers right?
Kim discusses that everyone should feel they can give feedback. Peer feedback is one of the most valuable thing we can give, it shows we care about our colleagues.
So, would I recommend it. Absolutely – go and have a read. Stop being ruinously empathetic today and start supporting your friends and colleagues directly!